It's official! We are following the calling to homeschool our kids with Christian curriculum. I had convinced myself that we would just "try" homeschooling while Kenzi was in preschool, but that was clearly not His plan. The more I homeschool, the more I research, and the more moms I meet that homeschool, the more I know that we are following a difficult calling! Every time I have a doubt or meet someone who questions our choice God sends someone into my life that is already walking this challenged path. I can't stop smiling!  have met some of the most amazing kids that are homeschooled, and I am so looking forward to raising children with those same values. I know there will be days of struggle, hurtful comments, and long days with no breaks...but Kenny and I just can't find a good enough reason NOT to homeschool! I tried convincing myself that we could "fit in" the Christian education piece when the kids got home from "normal" school, but that's just ridiculous. As if my 30 minutes of parenting will compare to their 8 hours of school surrounded by unbelievers and "worldly thinkers"...and that's not including sports time! I have put together a SHORT list of reasons why the Nash kids will be any of them speak to you?!?!

• To stand up for Christ in a world that knows nothing about Him.

• To glorify God and build Godly character

• To teach the difference between academics, the “real” world, and our Christian duty

•To teach good stewardship

• So we can weave the biblical view into all subjects

• To be a strong Christian witness to my community by letting others know I take my faith seriously every day of the week, not just Sunday’s

• To tailor the lessons for each child, encourage kids to work in areas they have talent and help them to master areas they are weak in

• To build close relationships with people in our family

• So my kids are able to live and study in an environment free from drug/alcohol abuse, profanity, and other anti-social behavior.



Selah has become my new favorite word. It's found in the Psalms 39 times, and I'm pretty sure God thinks that word is a big deal! The only word I say that many times in one day is "No", and to a mom, that's a pretty big word!


It translates to a few different things, but the one I like most is "Let those with eyes see and ears hear." It means STOP and LISTEN.  And that is something God is clearly asking me to do right now. I feel pulled in a million directions once again, why is it that things seem to always fall apart at the same time?  There are so many things my heart wants to do right now, but I completely hear God telling me to STOP and LISTEN. His plan is not always my plan. And right now our plans are miles apart!


So I wait, trying to imagine a plan better than my own. I know one day I will look back and see how it all made sense, but right now it's taking everything I've got to just stop. I'm not so good at stopping. Which is probably exactly why God is continuously reminding me to STOP and LISTEN. Easier said than done, but we usually aren't called to do easy things.


Oops, I did it again!

Yep, it's been another month since I last posted. And boy has our life changed since that post!!

The morning after Kenny's baptism with Westwood, he got a phone call from a major flooring company. They knew Kenny from his past job at Shaw because they were his biggest competitors. Well, the tables have turned and they wanted him to come in for an interview!! 5 interviews later...he was given an offer! Yes, my faithful prayer warriors, Kenny is now employed again!!!!! I will let him share his story in his own post!

We have been blind-sided by many things lately, a tangible reminder that we are not the ones in control! We have been going through the "One Month To Live" series at church this month and it has been the most wonderful timing. We have been stripped of many things, all earthly desires. We are now at a place of comfort again, and we anticipate a very different life going forward after "THE SUMMER OF 2010"!  Actually, we should probably rename this chapter of our life because we were blind-sided again with news just this past week. We knew God wasn't quite done with us...


What a month...

It's been one month since I last blogged, I can't believe it. Between my 5 jobs, 4 different ministries, bible studies, and kids activities, blogging has taken a back seat! It hasn't been an easy month, and there are MANY things to blog about, but I want to start off with the most important event.

Kenny was baptised!!!!!!

As Christians, we believe several things about Baptism, according to the Gospel:

1-Faith must preceed Baptism, so being baptized as an infant is not valid. You have to make the choice and believe for yourself before being baptised.
  • "He that believes and is baptised shall be saved" -Mark 16:16.  Baptism represents a serious, life-altering commitment. It is only for those mature enough to understand the importance of their decision. Children are simply not able to properly comprehend and make such a serious and lifelong commitment. In every specific example of baptism mentioned in the Bible, we see that those being baptized were old enough and mature enough to understand repentance, baptism and the gravity of their decision. Nowhere can we find a single example of an infant or child being baptised.
2- Baptism needs to be full immersion, not a forehead sprinkling.
  • All biblical examples reveal that baptism was always performed in a body of water large enough and deep enough for immersion. John 3:23, for example, tells us that John the Baptist "was baptizing in Aenon near Salim, because there was much water there." Matthew records that when Jesus was baptized He "came up immediately from the water" (Matthew 3:16).
    The Greek word "baptizo" means to immerse and has no other meaning.
3- Baptism is a public testemony and must be done in front of others.
  • Baptism should be done in the presence of other believers after publically announcing your faith in Jesus Christ. Baptism is a public declaration of being saved and identifying oneself with their Savior. Whatever the circumstance, a true believer will obey the Lord and not be ashamed or hide their salvation.

Today also marks what would have been Tyler's 1st birthday!  We found out we were pregnant with him the day before we learned of Mackenzi's tumor. He was the light of our life during those scary and difficult weeks and we can't wait to hold him someday in Heaven and tell him how much he meant to us! We were technically 14 weeks pregnant when we lost Tyler, though the doctors said his little body had developed more like a 10 or 11 week baby. There were signs in the begining that things were not right, but when he continued to grow, we had hope! The autopsy revealed that he was most likely a boy that we miscarried because of a Trisomy defect. We lost Tyler just a few days before Mackenzi went into surgery, and I'm not sure we ever truly grieved his loss. There are things that remind us of him every day, and in those moments we grieve. 

Our hearts are heavy for you today Tyler, Happy 1st Birthday!   


    MOPS Convention Day 3

    I don't know if there is anything better than starting the morning off with worship by Christy Nockels! I wish I could do this every morning. It's so refreshing to sing praise to our God, and prepare for the day ahead with a full heart. I have fallen in love with her music!

    We had a fantastic general session focused on the art of being a mom. They did such an amazing job with the skits and topics this weekend, I was very impressed. After our general, we ran back to the room to make sandwiches (that we bought from the grocery store yesterday...that we walked to). After our 5 minute break, we ran back to go to our final breakout. I wish I had worn my heart rate monitor this weekend because we ran back and forth to our room about a hundred times!

    My breakout was titled "First Generation Christians". The speaker told her story of how she was raised in a non-believer family and the terrible things that happened to her in her home. There were about 20 of us in the room, and many of us got to share our own story. Every single one of us had been through something very painful, but every single one of us came through it a believer! There was not a dry eye in the room by the time our session was over. I can say that I was very proud to be called a "Pioneer Parent" today. It has not been an easy road, and I have paid a very high price for my faith. But I did it for my kids, and so that we may walk in faith as a family.

    After another run to our room for more snacks (we both vowed NOT to look at the scale when we got home!) we said goodbye to our MN roomie. Getting to know Kari was so much fun, we are so blessed to have spent these past few days with her. She took care of us so well!

    We were waiting at the elevator and I turned to see who was walking was CHRISTY NOCKELS!!!! DO you know her? Do you love her music? Cause I do!!!! I almost fell over. THen I almost jumped on her. Then I almost kissed her...well not really. But I can't describe the smile on my face as we all got on the elevator together and had the mst amazing ride EVER. I think I said about 2 words, most likely not in English. I was so star-struck. We got to our floor and I announced that I wasn't getting off, but then I remembered it wasn't cool to be a stalker, so I did. And my  heart didn't stop racing for an hour!

    Later we went to the final session of convention. We sang more worship songs with my new BFF (cause we rode an elevator together and it was a very special time for both of us!), found out we raised over $30,000, and learned about next year's convention plans. It was a very emotional session, filled with all kinds of encouragement and hope. I am so in love with MOPS!

    Amy and I had a hard time deciding whether or not to go to Disney World- Magic Kingdom. The mommy guilt kicked in big time! We opted for Downtown Disney instead, and got in our very first Town Car! We had a lovely dinner at Rain Forest Cafe, did some shopping for the kids, and stopped for ice-cream at the Ghiardhelli store. (Amy made me). Then we took another Town Car back to our beautiful hotel (very strange driver by the way, right Amy?!?!). Amy and I stayed up until 3am talking about our Mops group and how amazing it is. Our leadership team is so strong and we are so grateful to have such a great support network. We have lots of fabulous ideas to continue to grow our program and can't wait to get home and share them with the others.

    This weekend was much needed, and I go home a better mom!


    MOPS Convention Day 2

    Another amazing day surrounded by moms who love the Lord! We started off the day with worship songs by Mandisa and some gifted speakers. Then we broke into "positionals" to learn more about our personal role in MOPS this year. I met some wonderful girls from another state and we shared the triumphs and struggles we had experienced as DGL's. I worked on setting goals for myself so that I can be a better DGL to the moms this year. I really need to work on being more connected to the moms in my group and knowing their needs. I need to be more intentional in my relationship with them!

    After a short break (to thaw out...the a/c was on freezing) we went to our first breakout. My topic was 10 ways to de-stress your life as a mom. AMAZING! My second breakout was How to keep the romance alive. AMAZING! I learned so much today that my brain is full. I can't wait to take all of the things I learned back to our MOPS group and share it with them. It's time to start changing our world...or at least our community!

    We finished the evening with a concert by Go Fish. What a neat group of guys, I love their story! Amy and I decided to enjoy our night without kids to the fullest and went to the piano bar until 1am. We will probably regret that tomorrow morning, oh well!

    Time to sleep and dream of my kids!


    MOPS Convention Day 1

    The day started off early...3:30am! But I was so excited to experience this weekend that I hopped right out of bed. Kenny drove Amy and I to the airport and we both got to experience our first CHILD FREE security check point, it was heavenly! Our first flight went by quickly and we decided to stop for lunch during our layover in Atlanta. We ended up at TGI Fridays with a very happy/strange/kinda creepy server. But again, it was CHILD FREE, therefor heavenly! Our second flight was a little scarry as we hit quite a bit of turbulence. We were both happy to land on solid ground, in FLORIDA!!

    We met up with another MN mom at our absolutely rediculously beautiful hotel, the Gaylord Palms. We got settled in and then decided to tour our new home for the next few days. We stopped by the "Resource Fair" and loaded up with free christian goodies, so fun!!! Then we went off to our first general session.

    The Katinas (a christian band of 5 brothers) started it off with a bang! They sang "Blessed Be Your Name" and I was mvoed to tears (surprise, surprise!).

    Blessed Be Your Name
    In the land that is plentiful
    Where Your streams of abundance flow
    Blessed be Your name

    Blessed Be Your name
    When I'm found in the desert place
    Though I walk through the wilderness
    Blessed Be Your name

    Every blessing You pour out
    I'll turn back to praise
    When the darkness closes in, Lord
    Still I will say

    Blessed be the name of the Lord
    Blessed be Your name
    Blessed be the name of the Lord
    Blessed be Your glorious name

    Blessed be Your name
    When the sun's shining down on me
    When the world's 'all as it should be'
    Blessed be Your name
    Blessed be Your name
    On the road marked with suffering
    Though there's pain in the offering

    Blessed be Your name
    You give and take away
    You give and take away
    My heart will choose to say
    Lord, blessed be Your name

    Every blessing You pour out
    I'll turn back to praise
    When the darkness closes in, Lord
    Still I will say

    I so love that song. My favorite line is "You give and take away, but my heart will choose to stay". God has stripped us of many things lately, but our hearts have only grown more fond of Him. We know that he is preparing our family for something very special, so we will just wait in faith!

    The speaker tonight told a story of their foster care daughter. (Kenny and I are currently in the licensing process for foster care so this really hit home!!) She was not growing and the peds couldn't figure out why. After 2 years of no growth, they decided it was time to try some drastic therapies. Right before the appointment, the family adopted their foster care child and gave her a forever home! At the next appointment, she had grown 2 inches!!! The doctor said it was because she finally felt "safe to grow". And that, my friends, is exactly why we love foster care. Praying God will send us our foster kids soon!!!!

    The speaker left us with an inspiring message and told us "Be proud to be a mommy tonight!" I so am :)


    I'm in better hands NOW!!!!!!!

    Being in Colorado with En Route was amazing, but coming home to my rockstar husband and beautiful kids was even better!! Kenny had them waiting at church with signs when the bus pulled up, and I couldn’t get off the bus fast enough. Mackenzi’s voice had changed, Tori’s hair had grown, and Graham grew a few extra rolls in his thighs! Kenny made a journal while I was gone of all the things the kids did and funny things they even had pictures!! So cool.

    Seeing my family filled me with joy, but knowing that I was coming home to a very unstable lifestyle was bittersweet. Kenny still hasn’t been able to find a job, we have no health insurance, and we have officially outgrown our home and need a new place to live. This experience of the past 4 months has changed our marriage, our kids, and dependence on God. We know that God has been preparing us for something…something very big!!

    My constant prayer has become a prayer of submission. I give my life to Him every morning and promise to do whatever it is that He calls me to. I have never felt closer to God than in the past month and the sense of peace I have is overwhelming. I have found that it is in these times that he is preparing me for an unexpected change. The last time I can remember feeling this way was when Mackenzi was diagnosed with a spinal tumor.

    Just before leaving for Colorado, a friend that is a nurse called to tell me that one of the nursing assistants on her floor had quit and that I should apply for the job. I thought, “That would be a dream come true. Does God really want to bless me with something so ridiculously amazing already? Wouldn’t that count as a miracle?” I sent in my application and called to connect with the hiring manager. When I didn’t hear back before I left for CO, I assumed she wasn’t interested. As we started our journey back home to MN, my cell phone finally got service and message after message came flooding in. One of them was from the hiring nurse manager. Then the texts came flooding in. My friend the nurse was concerned that I hadn’t returned the manager’s message and that I needed to asap. I did! Again, a few days passed and when she didn’t respond, I figured I had missed my chance. Obviously this was not where God wanted me or the timing would have been better. After all, I was in the mountains sharing with high school girls about Jesus!! I was crushed, but excited to see what else He had in store for me.

    A few days later, I got a phone call form the manager asking me to come in for an interview. What?!?! I went to the interview, a nervous wreck. Not only was this my dream job, but I could potentially get a full time job with benefits and change our family’s life. No pressure! I called a few friends and asked them to pray during my interview, and then I had my only little chat with God! I have to admit…I nailed the interview. She mentioned several times that she had a stack of 50 applications to pull from and that the other applicants all had experience. I stressed that I was a quick learner and that she wouldn’t be disappointed if she gave me a chance. I left the interview feeling good about the experience, but knowing that she would most likely be offering the job to someone else more qualified. She said she would call me either way on Thursday morning.

    Thursday morning came and went. As did Friday. And Saturday. I was heartbroken but not shocked. Like I said, it would be a miracle for her to chose me. I figured she probably offered it to someone else and was giving them the weekend to think it over. In case I was right, I started praying STRONGLY that the other applicant would turn it down and that God would give her a different path. Huh, wishful thinking?! At a birthday party with friends on Saturday, I got some advice about calling the manager to check in and express that I still had interest in the job. The next night, I got brave (not white water rafting brave, but having a baby with no medicine brave) and left a bold message for the manager. It was totally out of my comfort zone, but I felt God pushing me to do it. I prayed over my phone and the words I would leave on her voicemail…I’m sure that was an interesting sight!! And then I just did it.

    Today, my half birthday, I went to the golf store with Kenny and the kids to pick up a new golf glove. I casually answered the phone when it rang and felt my heart literally stop when I heard the nurse manager on the other end! She said she had gotten my message and wanted to tell me that she had offered the position to someone else. Shocker.


    Wait…what?????? I almost fell over. Kenny threw his hands up in the air. I caught my breath. What?????? Sure enough, my prayers were ANSWERED. I was being offered my dream job this very moment, there are no words to describe what that felt like.

    I heard Natalie Grant’s song “In Better Hands Now” tonight when I was in my car and it gave me shivers. Here is how the song touched me:

    It's hard to stand on shifting sand
    -our life is currently built on shifting sand, it’s a scary place to be

    It's hard to shine in the shadows of the night
    -I feel like it’s so hard to project all of my joy in such a dark time

    You can't be free if you don't reach for help
    -I have had to accept help from my friends in so many ways during this time

    And you can't love if you don't love yourself
    - I recently started a weight loss program to finally lose the baby weight and love myself again

    But there is hope when my faith runs out
    -I can honestly say my faith has never run out, but I love the feeling if hope

    Cause I'm in better hands now
    -God’s in control now!

    It's like the sun is shining when the rain is pourin' down
    -I feel like this job is a sunshine blessing amidst all the rain

    It's like my soul is flying though my feet are on the ground
    -Love this!!! I feel giddy, full of joy, and ready to take on the world

    So take this heart of mine there's no doubt
    -How could I ever doubt God after an answer to prayer like this?

    I'm in better hands now
    -Thank you Jesus

    I am strong all because of you
    -I couldn’t have done this on my own

    I stand in awe of every mountain that you move
    -One of my favorite verses. He moved a major mountain in our life! There is no way I should have gotten this job.

    I am changed yesterday is gone
    -Everyday I start anew

    I am safe from this moment on
    -God will guide me through this

    And there's no fear when the night comes 'round
    - He is always there

    I'm in better hands now

    It's like the world is silent though I know it isn't true
    -Faith can change lives

    It's like the breath of Jesus is right here in this room
    -So true! I can feel it!

    So take this heart of mine there's no doubt
    -And there never will be

    I’m in better hands now
    -You have a plan for ME!

    You can't be saved if you're not reaching out for help
    -God didn’t save our family until we were on our knees reaching out for help. We asked, and now we are SAVED!!!!

    I am so in Awe of God’s amazing timing and I can’t wait to blog about my new experiences as a Labor and Delivery Nursing Assistant!!!!!!



    I had no cell service in the mountains of Colorado, so I had to write my blogs each night and wait to post them once I got home. I'm home...and here are the incredible experiences of the past 5 days:

    The Trek
    I had no idea how long a bus ride to Colorado with 50 kids would seem! I can honestly say the trip was exactly what I needed right now though. I sat next to a sweet, sweet leader that I just met a few months ago. We were able to talk about life…real life…and all that God is challenging us with! I so needed that.

    We stopped in cities I’ve never even heard of at times I’m not usually awake. I remember a rest-stop around 4am. I got off the bus and could barely breathe from the stench of poo. I’m pretty sure I coughed! I found my way to the building and there to greet me was a giant statue of an alien…or something.

    Sleeping in the bus chair was torture, I don’t ever want to experience that again. Unfortunately I have to break that rule in 6 short days when we make the trek back home! But next time I will know better than to sit amongst the high school boys...I can’t even explain with words the strange noises they made and the incredible volume their voices reached…for 18 hours straight!!! But it’s nice to be humbled again, and reminded that I will be put in challenging and frustrating situations so that I MAY GROW!!!

    The Beginning
    It’s the 2nd night at Silver Creek and I feel like God’s work has finally begun!!! I have waited for this moment for so long and am so glad to finally see why I’m here and not at home with my kids. The group of girls I am with have amazed me with their willingness to be real and open to what God wants to show them this week. They are respectful, kind, honest, beautiful girls and I am so happy to share this experience with them!!

    The first night at cabin time we talked about self image and how God sees them. I had them go around the circle and say something beautiful about the person to their left. I was so proud of what they came up with! Then I had them go in the bathroom and look in the mirror. I asked them to repeat the following phrases after me, “I am beautiful, God thinks I’m beautiful, I am God’s beloved.” It was so neat to hear their voices together, I won’t forget it for a long time!

    Tonight at cabin time we talked about things that are holding us back from God and preventing us from fully believing that God loves us. We talked about things like wanting to be popular, needing to be loved by a boy, being labeled and feeling stuck in a box…oh I don’t miss high school. I asked the girls to write down the walls they had up on a piece of paper and for the first time all week, there was complete silence for 5 minutes. I wanted them to know how proud I was of them for going deep and being so real and I played a song for them that means a lot to me. Joel Hansen from Westwood wrote this song about a counselor who went to save a girl drowning in the water, “She took her hand, and never let go”…both girls died that day. I wanted them to know how loved they are by God and by ME! Can’t wait to see what’s to come for these amazing girls…

    Amazing Grace
    The past few days have absolutely drained me…physically and emotionally. Yesterday, all of my girls faced their fears when they went through the high ropes course. I watched in amazement as they went up in the trees one by one and encouraged each other through the difficult course. I was so proud of them as they zip-lined back to the ground, and the looks on their faces after they were safely back on solid ground were priceless!!

    Later that day we went exploring and the crazy girls actually jumped into the freezing cold river which is made up of snow run-off. I stood on shore and took pictures…nice and warm!!! The rest of the day was full of leader meetings, swimming in the hot springs, friendship bracelet making, praying, and singing.

    Facing Fears
    Today was…I guess I don’t even know what word to use here. I woke up with a knot in my stomach knowing that today I would have to face a very real fear of mine. White. Water. Rafting. Just typing those words make my heart race and stomach turn. There was NO part of me that wanted to experience white water rafting in my life, but when I asked the youth pastor if I had to go, he reminded me that God asks us to face our fears, not run from them. Not the answer I was hoping for, but he was so right. So today I made myself put one foot in front of the other and get on the bus headed for Noah’s Ark, the Christian based rafting company we would be using for our trip. The closer we got, the harder it was to breathe and when I got off the bus and saw the river, I lost it. This probably sounds absolutely pathetic, but I am not a risk-taker. I would never choose to do an extreme sport like sky-diving, bungee jumping, or white water rafting. Apparently my fear was not hidden well because several other leaders on the trip saw me in the parking lot and came over to pray over me. I was so grateful for their prayers and felt better as I walked with all of the kids over to our guide. Then the guide started talking about all of the “what ifs” and I lost it again. I felt like such an idiot as I silently sobbed, surrounded by 150 brave high schoolers who couldn’t wait to get in their rafts. I don’t think I stopped crying or shaking until we were a few miles down the course. Seriously…so embarrassing!
    I will never forget the joke of our boat- We were only one mile into the 6 hour ride and going over what I would call “white caps/very large waves” when I asked our guide if these would be considered a Class 2 rapid. (He told us we would be experiencing Class1-Class 4 rapids throughout the course and I wanted to know if these were on the higher end…cause they felt that way!) He turned to me with a confused expression on his face and said “No.” I thought, Oh good, this is probably a Class 3 rapid so they won’t get much worse than this. And he responded, “No, this…is just water!” I almost jumped out of the boat and swam to shore. I still wish I had. The next 6 hours were extremely difficult for me, I will be totally honest. I hated how I felt, but I couldn’t convince myself that this was fun. I remember getting out around the half-way point and standing on a rock. I think I took my first deep breath of the day. My abs hurt from being so tense, and I was emotionally drained. Our guide had told us that the worst rapid was coming up…the one with the sink hole. He said that out of the 12 trips he took per week, at least 2 he would flip during this rapid. As we were eating lunch, I just prayed to God that he would take my focus off my fear so that I could do my job paddling and get us safely through the rapid. As I stood up to get back in the boat, I accidently put my hand on a cactus. That prayer was answered!! My focus was now on the ridiculously painful burning in my hand after my girls pulled out all of the cactus needles.

    Before the big rapid, our guides got out to pray. They watched as other groups(non-Christian organizations) went through the rapid and when they got back told us that the boat directly in front of us dumped 3 people as they went through it. That was information I did NOT need to know! Before I new it, it was our turn, and all I can remember is the guide screaming at me “Paddle now, this is not the time to freeze up on us.” We made it safely through, as did the rest of our group. We pulled off to the side to watch the others behind us go through it just in case anyone fell out and needed us to rescue them. After our whole group made it through safely, he said we would wait just a little while longer and watch as the next group went though…again from a non-Christian organization. We watched as they went down the first plunge, and when the boat came up for the second part, you could see that the back of the boat was now empty. I could barely breathe as I saw a few boats pull off of shore to go rescue the people that had fallen out…one of them a 6 or 7 year old boy. I cried again. I don’t think this is anything I would ever consider fun! I was in awe however that we were the only group that prayed before the rapid and we were the only group to make it though safely. God Answers Prayer!!! The rest of the course seemed to last forever and all I wanted was to be back on solid ground. I can honestly say that I don’t ever care to experience that again. Did I face my fear…yep. Did I conquer it…don’t think so.

    Both Feet In
    Every day, Brian gives 2 messages. The message in the morning is short, and then the kids are asked to go find spot alone somewhere at camp and do their “Reflections”. The message at night is a lot deeper and afterwards we go back to our cabins and have “Cabin Time”. I had been praying all week that my girls would go deeper and really be honest during our time together.
    I wasn’t prepared for what would come out during our conversation tonight. Something finally made them open up, and I realized they were all in such different places in their relationships with God. Some questioned everything we had talked about, some doubted that God could really loved them, and some just sat silently. They said things that hurt me to the core, and it dawned on me that I was once in the same place as them. It’s easy to say now that I am certain there is a God and that Jesus died for our sins. But I remember when I first believed that doubt was always popping up. These girls are exactly where I was when I became a believer, it was the summer before 11th grade.
    After a deep breath and a quick prayer, I told them this was a safe place to ask their questions. I could see that many of these girls had faith that was only “one foot in the water”, meaning that they were keeping one foot on shore just in case. I decided to be bold and told them that they needed to have “both feet in” if they wanted to experience all that God had planned for them. That meant turning from their sins and what they struggled with and believing that the Bible and EVERYTHING in it is the word of God. I told them that God asks us to do things that aren’t always easy or what we want to do, and that sometimes when something feels uncomfortable or hard, that’s right where God wants us to be. I could see some of them trying to fit God into a tiny comfortable box, but that’s not how He works! I hope that tonight plants a seed in them, if only a tiny mustard seed.

    And the Kingdom of God grows…
    Tonight during Brian’s message, he shared with the students about God’s love for each of them and His call to hand over the “steering wheel” of their lives. We had communion and listened to beautiful song about God’s forgiveness. Then he asked all of the students to find somewhere around camp to go and sit and just be with God. As they students were praying, the leaders prayed over the students. I was amazed by how God would place an image of one of my girls in my mind and a specific prayer for them. This had never happened before and it was so powerful. As I walked to our cabin to meet with the girls for our cabin time, I felt as though I was being prepared for something. Small understatement!

    We started going through the questions Brian had sent with all of the leaders and I was amazed by how open and real the girls were all finally being. Many of them shared that they felt the presence of God for the first time that night, and through tears they talked about their brokenness. I could feel that God was all over that circle and offered to them the opportunity to pray the prayer of salvation with me. I didn’t want anyone to feel pressured or guilted into such an important decision, so I said that I would be out praying in one of the gazebo’s and if they felt led to commit their lives to God, or to recommit their lives to God, that they could join me and I would help them through that prayer.

    I sat there in prayer for a while, wondering how long to wait. When I heard someone coming up the path, I looked up to see who it was. I will NEVER forget the image of ALL 8 of my girls walking up that path!!! Together, in the gazebo under the stars on the mountainside in Colorado, we prayed the prayer of salvation.

    Three of them, for the first time.

    It truly was the most beautiful thing I have ever experienced. We all put our arms around each other and sang “Amazing Grace”…I so wish I could have heard what the people in the cabins around us were thinking! It was terrible! But I will never be able to hear that song again without thinking of the 8 amazing girls I spent this week with, and their powerful prayer to God.

    I am so thankful to be a part of this ministry, and I go home a changed believer. God is so Awesome.


    Dazed and confused

    So i found out that sleeping in a bus seat amongst 50+ high schoolers and a bus driver that apparently likes HEAT is virtually impossible. Bummer. Just stopped at a local (somewhere in CO) Burger King for breakfast. I fell nice and greasy for the 6 hour drive we have left...lovely!

    Rise and Shine and give God the GLORY GLORY!!!!


    The Great Colorado Adventure

    So i'm sitting on a bus with about 50 high school students from our church headed for the beautiful state of Colorado. I think the last time I was in CO was in 2001 for college. I attended Colorado State and Kenny went to the U of Northern Colorado. Kenny wanted to go back to MN and apparently I loved him enough to follow him. (Looks like it worked out in the end though!!)

    So anyways...we're on the bus. Someone just put in the movie Oceans 11, the leader sitting next to me is listening to her ipod really loud, the 10 guys closest to me are arguing about something definitely not important, and I am going to attempt to sleep for a while in my 2 square feet of space!! I love this!! Hoping to get a few hours of sleep and thinking about my kiddos back home...

    My bags are packed...

    and I'm ready to go!


    Newborn Photo Shoot!

    Today I got to visit with my friend Allison and her new baby girl she delivered earlier this morning!! Here are some of my favorite shots of Magdalyn...


    Backlog Post 1

    I figured I would start with the biggest change in our life these past few months...our sweet baby boy! Graham is almost 4 months old already and has taken us on many new baby adventures. We discovered (with the help of a very special nurse!) that Graham's body can't handle dairy and that's why he had colic so bad. We switched his formula to Soy and I have stopped eating dairy, absolute torture!!! But totally worth it, cause we have an amazingly happy baby back!


    Hi Blog...remember me?!

    So I have this annoying habit some people like to call procrastination. I think that's just a pretty word for LAZY! I would like to blame my 2 month blogging hiatus on my newborn (and therefore LACK OF SLEEP), but that would be a lie. I think I actually have some kind of "completion anxiety". If I can't fully complete something I'm working on, I somehow decide it's not worth doing at all. Prime example...I hand wrote over 250 thank you notes after our wedding (why do only the wives have to do that by the way???) the week we got back from our honeymoon (that's a whole-nother blog post!!!). I had about 50 left...which of course I never got I decided it would be best just not to send ANY. That's right, completely pathetic. I have no excuses. I never sent our wedding thank you's. So, for anyone out there reading our blog that also went to our wedding and perhaps gave us a wedding present, THANK YOU from the bottom of my "completion anxiety" heart. So that's what I think has happened here again, I had another "completion anxiety" episode after I didn't blog for a week and decided it would be best just not to blog until I could sit down and blog every event of our crazy busy life that had happened. Well that was dumb! Of course, being a mom to 3 very small children (one is a newborn...remember, no sleep!) and deciding it would be a good idea to fill our calendar with at least 5 events each day, that great blogging day never came! Who woulda guessed??

    So here I am, 2 months later. And I have SOOOO much to blog about!! My plan is to take this backlog one day at a time and blog about a few fun events we've had over the next few days. (Who am I kidding, this will probably take me longer than a few days)

    By the way, blogging is WAY harder than it looks! But totally worth it :)


    He Is Risen!

    When you think of Easter, you probably think of the Easter Bunny, colored eggs and lots of candy... but to Christians around the world it is much, much more. Easter is the most important Christian holiday of the year.
    Easter Day is the day Christians remember Jesus rising from the dead. After his brutal crucifixion, a large stone was rolled over his tomb. But shortly after his death when followers went back to honor Jesus, the stone had mysteriously been moved and only the cloth that wrapped Jesus' body was laying there. As the story goes, Jesus' body was no longer in the tomb and he had in fact risen from his death in order to save us all. An angel nearby this tomb told his followers of the miracle that had taken place.

    The resurrection, as described in the Bible, means that at the very moment Jesus rose from the dead, was the very moment we would be given everlasting life. Christians would now receive new life after death. The Easter holiday celebrates this belief. Easter is therefore the last day celebrated during a 40 day Easter season.

    The season begins with Lent, a 40-day period before Easter Sunday. During Lent, Christians prepare for Easter. Lent is considered a time for penance, a time to show sorrow for sins and to seek forgiveness.

    One way many Christians show their sorrow is by fasting, which limits the kinds and amounts of food that are eaten. Christians may also give something up during this 40 week period as patronage to the suffering of Jesus. While not all Christians fast during Lent, those that do pattern their behavior after Jesus who prayed and fasted in the wilderness before his death on the cross.

    Lent begins on Ash Wednesday and most churches hold specials services in the evening. At many of those services ashes are placed on the foreheads of worshipers to remind them to have a humble spirit. Lent continues until Holy Week, which is the final week of Lent and recalls the events leading up to Jesus' sacrifce and ultimate death, a death he freely accepted.

    Holy Week begins with Palm Sunday, which celebrates the story of Jesus' entry into Jerusalem, where people spread palm branches and clothing before him. Good Friday is the day Jesus died on the cross and many believe it happened between the hours of 12 noon and 3pm. Many churches hold services during this time to reflect on the last three hours of darkness while Jesus suffered on the cross.

    On Easter Sunday Jesus' resurrection is celebrated. Outdoor Easter services sometimes take place at sunrise to celebrate Jesus' resurrection. Just as Jesus rose from the dead, Christians believe they too will rise from the dead and ascend into Heaven. It's important to note that Easter is not a time to dwell on death and sorrow, but rather the fact that Jesus did rise just as prophesized in the Holy Bible. This miracle of renewed life has given Christians hope, faith and love since they know Jesus died willingly in order to save the human race.

    Easter is also closely associated with the season of Spring. The new plant life that appears in spring symbolizes the new life Christians gain because of Jesus' crucifixion and resurrection.

    -Taken from a Christian website


    Tori was sick with the flu so she got to sit with us during the church service. She loved the singing!

    Our 14th Easter Egg Hunt of the day! We have a new favorite activity...


    Spring "Christmas" Letter

    I've decided this blog is in need of a family "Christmas" letter because of all the changes we have gone through in the past few months. Honest and real, here goes...


    The biggest change in our life happened when Kenny got the news that he was being laid off. Kenny had worked for Shaw since the week before Mackenzi was born, over 4 years ago. Kenny is excited about working for another company and experiencing a new product in sales, but it is scary to think about how long that might take to find. We have an amazing God, and know that he is taking care of us. We can't wait to see what plans He has for us now!! For now, Kenny gets to stay home with us and we have loved every minute of it! I'm a little worried about readjusting once he does go back to work!

    If anyone has a sales rep lead, please let us know!!!

    I am LOVING being a stay-home mom! Now that the dance season is over, I have been able to focus all my time and energy on my kids. I have seen a change in both of the girls now that life has slowed down a little bit and I can give them my undivided attention again. We don't stay home very much, we usually have a few activities every day. I'm involved in MOPS at our church, both the girls have preschool, and Kenzi takes dance at The Summit Dance Shoppe. We've been going to Lifetime, the Zoo, parks, the mall, and lots of playdates. I wouldn't trade this for anything! I also get to lead a small group in our church's senior high ministry. The girls in my group are absolutely amazing and I always look forward to Wednesday nights with them. I get to go on the summer trip to Colorado with them this summer too, I can't wait!! God is everywhere in my life right now, which is the way it should be. Lovin' It!

    Mack is just blowing us away lately with the things that she says! I don't know where she gets some of her lines, but they crack us up. She may not be a tough kid, but she seems very intelligent. Not in a school way... she doesn't know all of her letters, but in a people way...she can carry on a very adult conversation. She is our little entertainer and enjoys putting on dance shows and pretend conversations. Her favorite activity is playing waitress! We can't wait to ger her in an acting/theatre program once she's old enough. Kenzi has also been an amazing big sister. She is so protective of Graham and is always by his side the second he starts crying with his nuk and blanket. She's a very unique little girl, and we love spending time with her, even when she's in her "other" world!

    Oh Tori...where do I start?! Let's just say that one of her favorite activities is licking things!! She prefers the bottom of her shoes, but the slide at Burger King works as well. Ha! She wants to do everything her big sis is doing and we've been very impressed with her ability to keep up. Her words multiply every single day and we love seeing her figure something new out. She is a daddy's girl right now and cries anytime he leaves. She calles him Mommy, which I think is hysterical, but Kenny does not! Not sure what the deal is with that, but we never really are when it comes to Tori. She is gonna be somethin special when she grows up, that's for sure!

    Our sweet lil guy has kept us on our toes these past few weeks! He was a perfect angel his first 3 weeks of life, sleeping through the night and only crying when he needed to be fed. But something changed when he turned 3 weeks old, and life was tough for the first time since Graham had arrived. Poor Graham wasn't pooping, wanted to eat every other hour, wouldn't sleep more that 45 minutes at a time and was waking up 4-6 times throughout the night. When he was awake, he was almost always crying. I changed my diet and was careful about what I ate, but that didn't seem to make much of a difference. At first, the doc labeled it severe reflux and put him on a strong does of Zantac. After a few days, his previous symptoms returned. Then we tried a constipation med, which also seemed to help for a few days, but the symptoms returned yet again. So today we took him in for his 2 month appt, and we were hoping for another solution! I was surprised by what we discovered. Graham weighed in at only 10lbs 14oz, putting him in the 25%. His height was also in the 25%. Because he used to be in the 75%, the doc was concerned. She thinks the reason Graham is such a "colicky" baby is because he's hungry. She said that some babies, often boys, need more milk than their mommies can produce. She told us that we need to start giving him a bottle after I nurse him. We are going to try it for a few weeks and see if it helps, at this point, we are desperate and will try anything!!

    So that's it, our family in a nut shell. Constantly changing but always believing! Looking forward to what's to come for us...a move, a new job, a new family member? Whatever it is, you'll hear about it on our blog!


    Not Me Monday

    I most definitely did not leave a poopy diaper laying on the changing table in pure laziness and catch my dog eating it an hour later. And I would never watch my dog eat the poopy diaper while smiling instead of taking it away just for my personal enjoyment!



    We are living in randomness right now. Not quite sure where to go with our new curveball, we are taking each day one at a time! Yesterday, we made the trek out to the MN zoo with my mom. We were able to watch the trainers working with the dolphins and even took the monorail around the park. It was so nice to be together as a family, a friendly reminder from God about what truly matters!!

    Learning all about the Zoo!
    Touching the stingrays

    Giving back to the zoo...their favorite part of the day!

    Graham has had another rough week. He's been on a pretty strong dose of Zantac for a week now, but things seem to be going downhill again. The poor guy cries all day long and all he wants to do is nurse. I think we will give it a couple more days before going in to see his pediatrician again. For now, we call him our little colic baby...

    The love and support from friends over these past few days has been amazing!! You find out who your true friends are when you go through tough seasons. I pray that my kids find friends as wonderful as the ones I have found. And I pray that I can learn to be as wonderful to my friends as they have been to me.

    One of Kenzi's favorite friends at the CCC today!!
    Tori was off in the corner licking something...


    When I say I am a Christian...

    When I say I am a Christian I am not shouting that I am clean living.
    I'm whispering I was lost but now I'm found and forgiven.

    When I say I am a Christian I don't speak of this with pride.
    I'm confessing that I stumble and need Christ to be my guide.

    When I say I am a Christian I'm not saying I am strong.
    I'm professing that I'm weak and need His strength to carry on.

    When I say I am a Christian I'm not bragging of success.
    I'm admitting I have failed and I need God to clean my mess.

    When I say I am a Christian I'm not claiming to be perfect.
    My flaws are far too visible but God believes I am worth it.

    When I say I am a Christian I still feel the sting of pain.
    I have my share of heartaches so I call upon His name.

    When I say I am a Christian I'm not holier than thou,
    I'm just a simple sinner who received God's grace somehow!


    Life Changing Day

    I can only describe today as life changing. We aren't sharing more than that at this moment, but once we have a handle on life again we will be sure to explain! That's the point of a blog right? To be honest and open about the things we are going through from day to day...I am more honest on my blog than I feel I can be with some people. It's just easier in some ways. You don't feel judged, I'm sure it still happens, but you don't feel it. And feeling judged just stinks!

    I was comforted tonight be a good friend that reminded me we were baptised 12 years ago today!! I was a Junior in HS attending MCC (Minnetonka Community Church). I had just accepted God into my heart and was begining my walk as a Christian. It was a beautiful day. And that's how I know that 12 years later, God is STILL in control, and this can be a beautiful day too.

    Thank you God, for always giving us the strength we need exactly when we need it! I hope we glorify your name as you shut one door and open another...


    So Big!!!

    The past few days have been so exciting with "Baby Gam". He weighed in at 10lbs 1oz at his checkup this week and his doctor said he was very strong for a 6 week old baby. He is constantly wanting to stand up, holds his head up very well, and has even rolled over.

    We switched him to the size one diapers and have started to put away some of the NB (newborn) sized clothes.  I love seeing him grow each day, it is so exciting to be his mom. He even smiled on command the other day! Looking forward to a week of even more firsts...


    Magic Kingdom Pictures

    We skipped the hotel breakfast so we could be at the park when it opened so we were
     stuck eating pretzels and turkey legs at 9am!

    Graham's 1st Disney Ride!!!

    While everyone else went on Space Mountain, I stayed back with the 3 kids. Mackenzi was dancing with a little girl, Graham was nursing, and Tori was...playing with a hose! Lovely!

    Graham's first girlfriend!

    Mackenzi's current favorite princess!!

    I wonder if they're related??