CLICK HERE FOR FREE BLOGGER TEMPLATES, LINK BUTTONS AND MORE! »

7/13/2010

I'm in better hands NOW!!!!!!!

Being in Colorado with En Route was amazing, but coming home to my rockstar husband and beautiful kids was even better!! Kenny had them waiting at church with signs when the bus pulled up, and I couldn’t get off the bus fast enough. Mackenzi’s voice had changed, Tori’s hair had grown, and Graham grew a few extra rolls in his thighs! Kenny made a journal while I was gone of all the things the kids did and funny things they said...it even had pictures!! So cool.


Seeing my family filled me with joy, but knowing that I was coming home to a very unstable lifestyle was bittersweet. Kenny still hasn’t been able to find a job, we have no health insurance, and we have officially outgrown our home and need a new place to live. This experience of the past 4 months has changed our marriage, our kids, and dependence on God. We know that God has been preparing us for something…something very big!!

My constant prayer has become a prayer of submission. I give my life to Him every morning and promise to do whatever it is that He calls me to. I have never felt closer to God than in the past month and the sense of peace I have is overwhelming. I have found that it is in these times that he is preparing me for an unexpected change. The last time I can remember feeling this way was when Mackenzi was diagnosed with a spinal tumor.

Just before leaving for Colorado, a friend that is a nurse called to tell me that one of the nursing assistants on her floor had quit and that I should apply for the job. I thought, “That would be a dream come true. Does God really want to bless me with something so ridiculously amazing already? Wouldn’t that count as a miracle?” I sent in my application and called to connect with the hiring manager. When I didn’t hear back before I left for CO, I assumed she wasn’t interested. As we started our journey back home to MN, my cell phone finally got service and message after message came flooding in. One of them was from the hiring nurse manager. Then the texts came flooding in. My friend the nurse was concerned that I hadn’t returned the manager’s message and that I needed to asap. I did! Again, a few days passed and when she didn’t respond, I figured I had missed my chance. Obviously this was not where God wanted me or the timing would have been better. After all, I was in the mountains sharing with high school girls about Jesus!! I was crushed, but excited to see what else He had in store for me.

A few days later, I got a phone call form the manager asking me to come in for an interview. What?!?! I went to the interview, a nervous wreck. Not only was this my dream job, but I could potentially get a full time job with benefits and change our family’s life. No pressure! I called a few friends and asked them to pray during my interview, and then I had my only little chat with God! I have to admit…I nailed the interview. She mentioned several times that she had a stack of 50 applications to pull from and that the other applicants all had experience. I stressed that I was a quick learner and that she wouldn’t be disappointed if she gave me a chance. I left the interview feeling good about the experience, but knowing that she would most likely be offering the job to someone else more qualified. She said she would call me either way on Thursday morning.

Thursday morning came and went. As did Friday. And Saturday. I was heartbroken but not shocked. Like I said, it would be a miracle for her to chose me. I figured she probably offered it to someone else and was giving them the weekend to think it over. In case I was right, I started praying STRONGLY that the other applicant would turn it down and that God would give her a different path. Huh, wishful thinking?! At a birthday party with friends on Saturday, I got some advice about calling the manager to check in and express that I still had interest in the job. The next night, I got brave (not white water rafting brave, but having a baby with no medicine brave) and left a bold message for the manager. It was totally out of my comfort zone, but I felt God pushing me to do it. I prayed over my phone and the words I would leave on her voicemail…I’m sure that was an interesting sight!! And then I just did it.

Today, my half birthday, I went to the golf store with Kenny and the kids to pick up a new golf glove. I casually answered the phone when it rang and felt my heart literally stop when I heard the nurse manager on the other end! She said she had gotten my message and wanted to tell me that she had offered the position to someone else. Shocker.

BUT THE OTHER GIRL JUST CALLED TO TURN IT DOWN AND SHE WAS NOW OFFERING ME THE POSITION

Wait…what?????? I almost fell over. Kenny threw his hands up in the air. I caught my breath. What?????? Sure enough, my prayers were ANSWERED. I was being offered my dream job this very moment, there are no words to describe what that felt like.

I heard Natalie Grant’s song “In Better Hands Now” tonight when I was in my car and it gave me shivers. Here is how the song touched me:

It's hard to stand on shifting sand
-our life is currently built on shifting sand, it’s a scary place to be

It's hard to shine in the shadows of the night
-I feel like it’s so hard to project all of my joy in such a dark time

You can't be free if you don't reach for help
-I have had to accept help from my friends in so many ways during this time

And you can't love if you don't love yourself
- I recently started a weight loss program to finally lose the baby weight and love myself again

But there is hope when my faith runs out
-I can honestly say my faith has never run out, but I love the feeling if hope

Cause I'm in better hands now
-God’s in control now!

It's like the sun is shining when the rain is pourin' down
-I feel like this job is a sunshine blessing amidst all the rain

It's like my soul is flying though my feet are on the ground
-Love this!!! I feel giddy, full of joy, and ready to take on the world

So take this heart of mine there's no doubt
-How could I ever doubt God after an answer to prayer like this?

I'm in better hands now
-Thank you Jesus

I am strong all because of you
-I couldn’t have done this on my own

I stand in awe of every mountain that you move
-One of my favorite verses. He moved a major mountain in our life! There is no way I should have gotten this job.

I am changed yesterday is gone
-Everyday I start anew

I am safe from this moment on
-God will guide me through this

And there's no fear when the night comes 'round
- He is always there

I'm in better hands now

It's like the world is silent though I know it isn't true
-Faith can change lives

It's like the breath of Jesus is right here in this room
-So true! I can feel it!

So take this heart of mine there's no doubt
-And there never will be

I’m in better hands now
-You have a plan for ME!

You can't be saved if you're not reaching out for help
-God didn’t save our family until we were on our knees reaching out for help. We asked, and now we are SAVED!!!!

I am so in Awe of God’s amazing timing and I can’t wait to blog about my new experiences as a Labor and Delivery Nursing Assistant!!!!!!