Surrender

So our season of pruning has passed, and I now find myself knee-deep in surrender! First, an update on my last post:

Home- We are not where we hoped we'd be when we started this crazy journey of moving, but it's not in our hands and it's just the way it is. We had to move to an apartment for a while until the details of our future home can be worked out. It's completely inconvenient, expensive, and far away from our daily activities...but it works. I am learning to live off the bare necessities, so that has been kinda cool. But I really want to be in my "home".  If I had known 6 months ago when we first started this process that the plan would drastically change, I'm not sure I would have chosen this particular path. A family of 5(very soon to be 6) living in a 2 bedroom is not the easiest way to live, but I have enjoyed the closeness with my family. The most recent "Move-in Day" delay came as quite a surprise, and it now looks as though we won't be able to move in until the weekend the baby is due. My first reaction was sadness, how could we bring a brand new baby back to our tiny apartment? Where  will the baby sleep? That's not what it was supposed to look like. And then I think about Jesus...he was born in a stable!  I like to be in control, have an agenda, and have things go according to plan. Ha! Not this time...

Kids-
T had a few good weeks in a row and it was so refreshing to get to know her in a different way! She was happy for the first time in months, and the EBD symptoms were much more under control. Unfortunately, it was a short phase, and we are now seeing the symptoms at their worst. She continues to be different than the other kids her age in more obvious ways every day, and her emotions spiral out of control quicker than ever before. She spends a lot of her time in a "safe place"...corners of rooms, under tables, inside tents. We were hoping to get therapies started with the new school district once we moved, but the moving delay has set us back a few months. So for now, we educate ourselves on this issue by reading books and talking to other parents in our shoes. We often talk about taking her to a Child Psychologist like we were recommended, but we are selfishly fearful of going down that path already.

K had her spinal scans and looks great!!! No signs of a returning tumor, and her vertebrae continue to regrow! Her complications are not symptoms of another tumor, but probably have more to do with her surgery. She will be seeing her urologist soon to get those issues taken care of and addressed. Hooray!

G is now our walking MONSTER!!!! He lives to eat, destroy, and bug Tori. He makes us laugh every day, I never imagined I'd have a child like this. Our soon to arrive baby doesn't stand a chance...

Homeschool- I don't even know where to begin!!! This will need to be covered in a future post. We just attended the big MACHE conference for christian homeschoolers in MN and it was life changing. Lots to share...hopefully soon! Haha

SO back to surrender...

The crown I feel called to wear right now is surrender. I hear the word in scripture, music, and through conversations with people I truly respect almost every day! I don't struggle with surrending most of my life, but I find that I am hanging on to a few things. And this surprise baby makes the top of this list.

Check-in

So the other day I had a much needed "check-in" with God.  I am leading an amazing group of women through the Margaret Feinberg bible study, The Sacred Echo.  If you haven't read it, I encourage you to! She talks about listening for God's calling in your life through the echos and repetition you see and hear throughout the day. One of my echos has been this blog. I started it with great intentions, a place to post new family pics and share with friends and fmaily about the latest adventures of our crazy family. But it turned into a place of complete transparency as we dealt with a series of difficult circumstances. I found my fingers typing words that were not coming from my mind, but my soul. I would pour out my private thoughts for all the world (ok...maybe the 3 people that sometimes read this!) to read, and then wonder who on earth could have written such raw thoughts after hitting save.  After a while, and a period of intense testing by God, I allowed myself to get distracted from my blog and to put my words in other places. Well, I am writing today, completely convicted of a "Sacred Echo", and promising to return to this blog and share my faith with others. I don't always know what that means, but I trust that God will lay it out for me in the days to come.

So here I go again...